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Scottish Fleet, Week 10: 12 October

IMG_3099As you probably know by now, you can talk to your smartphone and it talks back, much like computers in Star Trek. A conversation I had with my phone today went much like this:

Me: These gansey photos are upside down again!

Phone: I expect you were holding me wrong.

Me: Holding you wrong? There’s only two ways to hold a phone – vertical and sideways.

Phone: And upside down—don’t forget upside down. Yeah, you probably had me wrong way up.

Me: Upside down! How on earth could you be upside down?

Phone: Maybe you were standing on your head. Were you standing on your head?

Me: Why would I be standing on my head?

Phone: Don’t ask me, mate, it’s your head… Joie de vivre, perhaps?

Me: Joie de bleedin’ vivre? Since you came into my vivre there’s been precious little joie, I can tell you.

Phone (offended): That was uncalled for. Some of us have feelings, you know.IMG_3104

Me (muttering): If smugness is a feeling, maybe.

Phone (even more offended): I heard that. (Uncertainly, with a hint of desperation:) Look, you said you were from New Zealand, didn’t you?

Me (suspicious): Yes.

Phone: There you are then. That explains it.

Me: No it doesn’t!

Phone: Yeah, course it does. Southern hemisphere, right? Everything’s upside down there.

[Tense pause]


Indian Summer in Wick: Day 1

Me: You answer general knowledge questions, don’t you?

Phone (happily): Oh, yeah. Ask me anything, go on.

Me (clearing my throat): Siri, what’s the furthest anyone’s thrown a mobile phone?

Phone: Ah! I know that one. The world record stands at 110.42 metres by Dries Feremans of Belgium, set in 2014. Why do you aarrrggghhh


But we’ll draw a veil over the rest. Suffice to say that I didn’t beat the record, but it was far enough for my purposes.


Indian Summer in Wick: Day 2

Well, depending on which way up the images display you’ll see that I’m about 6 inches down the sleeve, have finished the gusset and the pattern band and am on the plain section down to the cuff.

This is the last knitting I’ll be doing for a couple of weeks, for by the time you read this I shall hopefully be on my way to America for a holiday, flying from Wick to Edinburgh to Heathrow to Boston, and getting in at 3 am UK time. (It seemed like a good idea at the time … not so much just now.) The plan is to not do very much when I get there: so far I’ve got breathing and brushing my teeth pencilled in, but that’s about it; I need a break.


… and yes, Day 3… (sigh)

So the next blog entry will be Monday 26 October, depending on jet lag, whether the house has been hit by a meteorite while we were away, etc. etc. See you in a couple of weeks!

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