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Denim “Homophone” Gansey: Week 6 – 6 December

Well, this is all happening very fast. The operation to remove a growth on one of my vocal cords is scheduled for later this week in Inverness. With luck I should be out the same day, unless there are complications—the anaesthetist tickling the surgeon at an inadvertent moment, say. I’ve been looking for silver linings, and have realised that at least this means I’ll miss the office Christmas party. (Last time I was regrettably detained with a migraine; next year I may have to fake my own death.)

Snowy fields by the A9

The inner workings of my body have been pretty much a mystery to me since my schooldays. I first realised biology wasn’t for me when I came into class one day and was presented with a scalpel and a frog I hadn’t previously been introduced to, and was instructed to get creative. After seeing the consultant I wasn’t sure what my vocal cords were, or even exactly where they were, so I looked them up online. This proved to be a big mistake, especially when I added the words “growth on” to the search. The images resembled a couple of eels wrestling in a bowl of pink blancmange, the kind of thing that normally only appears above the caption “Alien Autopsy: The Pictures They Didn’t Want You To See”. I hastily closed the browser window and made a note to tick the box on my medical consent form marked “Blissful Ignorance Y/N”.

Rose Street Christmas Lights, Edinburgh

And so I’ve been cracking on with the gansey, not least because it’s a present and has to be finished, washed, blocked and posted in time for Christmas. But I’m also grimly aware of how badly I was affected the previous times I’ve had general anaesthetics, and can’t promise I’ll be able to hold a needle for a couple of days afterwards, let alone knit with one. Still, that’s one sleeve down, one to go, and I continue to be delighted with how well the patterns complement each other and show up in this colour.

Display on the Mound, Edinburgh

I had my pre-operation assessment last Thursday, and the best thing I can say about it is that I’ve apparently got an excellent body mass index. (This may be the only time the word excellent has ever been applied to my body, though I do treasure the scornful reaction of one nurse a few years back when I said I thought I was putting on weight: “I’ve seen more fat on a chip”.) So it looks like it’s all systems go for the op. Meanwhile I’ll continue to follow Polonius’s excellent advice to all laryngitis sufferers, “Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice”. And I’ll leave the last word for now to the Great Dane, Hamlet himself, facing up to his own microlaryngoscopy operation: the rest is silence…

10 comments to Denim “Homophone” Gansey: Week 6 – 6 December

  • Meg

    Best wishes for a quick recovery..hope all goes well.xx

  • Do take care Gordon and hope all goes well with the surgery and your recovery. Best to you from the other side.

  • Annie

    Congratulations on searching for throat and voice care, some people would rather not. So as a speech pathologist, I offer here what I hope is a helpful professional observation in case a bit if voice rest is recommended as part of your recovery.

    First, a whisper causes major stress to vocal functioning. So don’t. Don’t hum or anything either.

    Second and best, people tend to not notice if you are not talking. Even if they ask how you are or if you have found gold yet. If you smile and nod and act interested, you don’t have to talk. So don’t.

    Again, congratulations for taking care of yourself with this next adventure.

  • Lois

    I hope all goes well. Do take care of yourself. None of this Pavarotti in the shower stuff!

  • =Tamar

    I find that a smile and nod goes a long way, and a slight hand wave even more so.
    It’s windy here. Otherwise all is well. I hope all is well where you are.
    i notice you have finished one sleeve and begun the other! Good going!

  • Marleen Hoogendam

    Oh dear, escalating into faking your own death next year… That is only a one year solution…. Can we help, by mailing the office with the utmost important guernsey questions that HAVO TO BE ANSWERED RIGHT AWAY on the day of the party?? Because otherwise Christmas has to be cancelled, in The Netherlands in my case… Mmm, this is not yet really in depth urgent, better ideas are welcome.
    Wishing you lots of health, hopefully your sore throat will be over soon and your Christmas can be enjoyed. Greetings, Marleen

  • Best of luck with the surgery! Honesty compels me to admit that when I glanced at the title of this entry I thought it said “Damned Homophone Gansey” and I wondered about the issues you were having with it.

  • Gordon

    Hello everyone, and thank you for the many expressions of good will, here and in private. I’m back home after the microlaryngoscopy – now I’ve learned to spell it I’m using it at every opportunity – but I’m still a bit shaky 24 hours after the op. I’m told this might last a few days. I’ve got some further scans to look forward to, some in Wick and some back in Inverness, possibly early in the New Year, and I won’t know till then what the diagnosis is.

    Meanwhile I’m resting and drinking lots of fluids and hoping that someone will slow the earth’s rotation like my old turntable from 78 to 33 rpm… or maybe even switch it off!

  • Julie

    I’m sure we are all happy that your surgery is behind you rather than before you, and that it went well.
    You’ll have that second sleeve done and dusted in no time.
    Rest well.

  • Maureentakoma

    Movie quote: smile and wave boys, just smile and wave. Hang in there and know that there’s a crowd of people from all over the world who are keeping you in their thoughts as you head into the next stage of this journey.

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